So how old are you?

there aren't many advantages to getting

old but one of them is one gets to tell

old

jokes that's not jokes that are old it's

jokes about old people so how old are

you I don't like to say how old I am but

when I was a kid there was only one

continent penia no the one before that

rodinia

I can't believe

that I'm so old that most of the sayings

attributed to other people were probably

first said by me but I don't remember

which

ones I can't believe it last part I'm so

old if I were a grandfather clock the

shadow of my pendulum would have worn a

hole in the back of the

case so what sign were you born under

when I was born we had different

constellations so did you ever get

married in my time we bought the

rightness of first completing our

education then getting a good job then

courting then marrying then having sex

then having kids and putting them all

through

college now people start with the sex

and work backwards so did you ever get

married

I'm still working on completing my

education I'm not so old I can't

appreciate a goodlook woman I just don't

remember what it was we used to like to

do

together women my age are beginning to

appreciate me they like to have me help

them take care of their

granddaughters maybe they think you are

harmless they always thought I was

harmless isn't that a good thing so are

you seeing

anyone I'm going out with ladies but I

don't think any of us can see the other

very well anymore so what do you do when

you go out with these ladies we talk

what do you talk about her children her

diseases and pains her grandchildren her

medications her great grandchildren her

operations her great great grandchildren

her friends who have died recently so

what about yourself do you talk about my

diseases and pains my

medications my operations my friends who

have died recently have you ever found

love has anyone women are for

companionship if I wanted love I'd get a

dog do you ever talk about the future

what future the way things are going

we're glad our lives are almost over now

it's you young people's turn to screw

things up you sound bit actually I'm not

I've led a good life and done what I

could to make the world a better place

I'm disappointed in others but not in

myself so do you have any advice for us

youngsters charm the medical staff

anything else do what you can laugh at

the rest in the end all you've got is

laughter

w